Betrayal

At a funeral this week the thought of betrayal came to mind through a process of weighing up a life. In my life my, the biggest regrets are related to a betrayal of trust. These events are seared in my memory and most likely bigger for me than the person that they involve. In fact the person probably doesn’t even register or remember them. I know that God forgives me, but the person/people involved have their own rights. I doubt they even remember the events and yet I cannot let them sleep completely. They chasten me, they help me to remember that I cannot pretend that my image of myself is flawless. They help me remember to be careful with other people’s lives. They help remember my role in life of trying to be a blessing. I don’t condemn myself for these betrayals. I have made my reparations, but like civet in a perfume their very faint stench heightens my awareness and keeps me alert in my relationships, mostly.